Being Aalsi.

 A big hello to my ardent followers. Yes, I am alive...I know I haven’t written anything from past two months and my blog was about to die from asphyxiation.  A lot has happened in past two months and well buddies; I am back from S.S.B Bangalore with loads of learning, experiences and Jaundice. Yes, Jaundice. That is what I got as a return gift from Indian Army for kicking their job opportunity. So your God is feasting on boiled potatoes and steamed rice from past two months. And he has been restricted to savour all the other delicacies so as he could convalesce sooner. Huh.  Apparently, a leading chewing gum company has now approached me for its endorsement. The tag line of the company says: ‘Zuban pe lagam’.

Other good thing that has happened is our department festival ‘Chakravyuha’10’ was a great hit. My contribution was in Sponsorship Department as a Sponsorship Head. 

But this post is not about telling how great past few months were. But it’s about telling how great is Being Aalsi (Lazy). Yes, Being Aalsi. Straight from the heart of a Benaresi.

Right from my birth I have been accused of being the most indolent, slothful and ‘leechad’ personality ever born!

All my family members, friends, foes, relatives, non relatives, teachers, non teachers, drivers, sweeper, mopper, gardener, cook and everyone I could think of were always complaining, scolding and kicking me for this habit.  And that made me wonder that am I an Alien?

Fuck no! I was wrong. I have just realized that this world was dying of jealousy. They were envious of not being aalsi. Wondering why?

I’ll tell you. Given below is a list that explains why this world is jealous of us:

1.   We move the world (From here onwards I’ll write ‘we’ so as to express the feelings of all proud Aalsis). Obviously when we don’t move our ass then others has to move his faster so as to make a balance. Hence progress is done at a faster rate.

2.  We save water on this planet. By not bathing frequently. Once in a fortnight is enough. (Here I would like to state that any one bathing more frequently than this is not an aalsi).

3.  We don’t go for abnormal workouts like running 10 km. in a day followed by hitting four hours of gym and then finally cycling for two hours after six hours of swimming.  Workouts are a strict no no. Our philosophy is No Pain, No Pain.

4.  We don’t land up breaking our hearts. In fact we don’t get into a relationship EVER. That is because it does well.

No wastage of energy in shopping for her, No tension of remembering dates of B’days or celebrating  kissing, hugging, ****ing, mate swapping, wedding,  fighting, rib breaking, bone crushing, jaw dismantling , head banging, hair transplanting,  divorce and death anniversaries. No early morning messages, meetings and greetings. Common dude, sleeping till noon is any day better than roaming aimlessly with a chick!  And that too just roaming! I mean.........!!!

If the other sex calls for meeting in a garden, we prefer lying back in couch and enjoy music. The world can go to hell. Thank you.

5.  Baba RanchhoddasChanchad once said: The best inventors are lazy by nature because they are always in search of shortcuts. All the best inventions are done keeping us in mind. For ex: Washing machine was invented because it was too tiring washing clothes with our hands, Remote control was invented because it was too tiring to change the knob. Yeah! Got my point. We also invent new shortcuts so as to complete the task as early as possible. The more aalsi you are, the more shortcuts you invent. According to my sources, impeccable as always, I have invented 28394653037 shortcuts till now. There are many more to come.

6.  We take out the best of ourselves by procrastinating.  Now for ex: I am writing this blog at 2:30 AM and at 9 AM, I have to submit my record. I was procrastinating the record work from past three weeks. Now I would recollect my super powers and complete it anyhow before nine. So you see how effectively I am going to do three weeks work in six hours. That is what innate in us. Optimal utilization of time is a salient feature of an aalsi.

7.  We are too generous in giving employment to uneducated or unemployed people. Since we don’t do works on our own, we employ helpers (A euphemism of servants). So this not only helps the workers but also decreases the unemployment in nation. God! We are saviours on this planet.

8.  We are so peace loving creatures. Have you ever heard of an aalsi going for controversies or fighting at backgate? I bet you haven’t. And you never will. Because it’s just not there in our habit. Sitting back and relaxing is a better option.

9.  We are one of the sources of energy. Potential energy, precisely. Now you see, in this world energy is conserved. It can neither be created nor be destroyed. So why to waste it by converting it in kinetic form? Again we care for mankind as they say – Save energy, Save the Planet.

And so the list continues. Sorry, I won’t write further. I am feeling lazy to do so.

 All above that the best part is that I am a Mechanical Engineer. Do I need to say more?

This post is dedicated to all my friends who keep advising me for not being aalsi, unorganised and unhygienic. I hope they can now understand how much fun, pleasure and happiness is there in Being Aalsi.

Wait a second....WTF is being hygienic??? Tch Tch.... I need to Google that out.

Ahh..it’s so pleasant to write for you guys. If only I could blog for eons.  Anyways, you people have been so kind to go through my post. Now show some more kindness and leave a comment after you.

Love and Peace.

i.Superstar

Hello buddies. Sorry for my muteness at the blog. I was unable to blog and surf because of some inevitable circumstances. But this long blogging gap has made me to ponder over many topics. Eventually, I have decided to blog on some of my best thoughts.

 My friends use to call me a net addict. However, I was a net addict or a Netigen (a euphemism). Once they had a bet with me to be offline for a few hours and I couldn’t. But I don’t know what happened to me this time, at home, I didn’t wish to be online or to surf. Though, to your surprise, a new internet cafe has been opened just outside my lane. Why? I don’t have an answer to it.

Anyway, on net, we usually surf Facebook and Twitter and I was no exception to it. We all love to surf on Facebook and Twitter. Liking the posts, commenting and chatting are the prime motives on these networking websites. Well, these networking websites are as intoxicating and addictive as any other alcoholic drink. So that made me wonder why is it so? Why it’s so captivating that almost the first thing a netigen do is to log in Facebook? The answer to it was (what my mind suggested), i.Superstar.

 Why we log in, we comment, we post, and we surf just for being connected? No, it’s not entirely because we want to stay connected. It has a few other reasons too. Allow me to write what I concluded.

A.       Every ‘common’ human has a sabotaged desire of being a celebrity. An undermine feeling of being the best among all. We all have warm wishes of getting praised and liked by everyone. The solution/path to get these praising is social networking sites. When someone likes your comment, you feel good. You like getting comments on your photos. You like getting comments on your status. You put your best photograph as your profile picture. You write like a wannabe to be ‘Kewl’.

Even, I have noticed that some people have totally different personality on net than what they have in real. I was amazed when I heard that a few of my friends are in competition that whose post will hit more likes! These things show that we are getting a pseudo tonic of becoming a celebrity or a ‘kewl’ dude and some are already under the impression of being a superstar and super famous. When I was in offline mode, I was compelled to thing why I should go for it, leaded by a deep introspecting session and followed by a conclusion that it makes me feel that I am somebody despite I am nobody.

B.       Same as in case of Twitter. Even I was in race with my friends to have more followers than others. Why? Because it makes feel famous. We tweet like a star despite having thirty followers out of which more than half are inactive. It shows how much we are obsessed with our self. Knowing very well no one is going to read this we tweet. And that too like we have a brigade of thousands of followers ready to reply us as we tweet. Then once again I thought why in the race for followers? Why to tweet like celebs? Answer was that somewhere I started believing that I am becoming famous (confession time). And so did others but the funny part was we all were happy under this false impression.

C.       Showing Off. Some are deeply inspired by this. Although it’s in a very few cases. Showing off that you have knowledge of a few heavy frequency words, showing off that you are the ‘Kewlest’ person ever. Showing off you have more female friends! Showing off that you have in depth knowledge (Where as superficial) of every current cum historic cum sports cum politics cum international cum space cum universal matters. People with a habit of showing off cannot find a better platform than these sites.

Finally at the end of the day we all do it. More or less. Once you start feeling this, you shall understand the gravity of this post. And I know after completing this I will post the link on Facebook because I haven’t been able to eradicate that feeling yet that i.Superstar.

And now it’s time to bid adieu. Goodbye.  Will write one more when it’ll get matured in my brain. The above written matter is totally from my perspective and I thank you all for bearing this.

 I beg your pardon for my flaws.

P.S.- I don’t hate comments.

Aaya hai to jayega...

Hello all. It’s been a long time since we had a talk. Today I was totally drenched in the juice of ambivalency. It was the time when I happily went to board my train. I was overjoyed as usual. But due to the cyclone ‘Laila’, my train was cancelled. I was planning to go for next available train for Varanasi when I learnt that I have no time. My Grandfather had expired a few days ago and I have to reach there as soon as possible for his ‘Daswa’. My parents didn’t tell me this because they had a thought that I might lose concentration from studies and final exams. Now when I am writing this, the memories of my Baba (Yes that is what we use to call him with love) are just unfolding in a random fashion. The only solace is that his death wasn’t painful and neither his life was depended upon others. He was on his own till his last breath. It was past the midnight when he got a heart attack. He was immediately taken to a hospital where after a few hours, he said goodbye to this mortal land.
My Grandfather was raised in a middle class family where he was biggest among all his siblings. Naturally, he took the responsibility of all his brothers and sister. He had immense love for acting and he also did theatre for fun. He will be always a source of inspiration for me in time management. He was always used to outclass the young brigade of our family with his agility and quickness even in his sixty’s and seventy’s. He was in the habit of washing his own clothes and did every bit of his own work (irrespective of its genre). Although we have had several bashing and ass whipping sessions organised by him, but all that will now perish in the dunes of time and will leave behind its memories. Memories of love and him.
And one more thing happened. My semester exams were started on tenth of May. That day I told my friends a special style in which my Grandfather used to recite my name. It’s like ‘Binaaay’. (Vinayak was turned to Binayak in the first place and eventually ‘k’ went silent). So, they all started imitating it. Every time that special notation was used to call my name and it actually reminded me of him. It also continued today till we were unaware of the fact that he had left his holy body on Fourteenth. I felt like in whatever manner he was close to me in his last days.
Also my brother told me that he (Baba) said once that fifteenth May would be his last day. He died at four o’ clock on fifteenth. Intuition or what? Don’t know.
Anyway, this is the ultimate truth, You have to die some day. All that matter is how useful you can make your life.
In Kabir Ji's words:
आया है तो जायेगा राजा, रंक, फ़कीर |
एक सिंघासन चढ़ी चले, एक बंधे जात जंजीर | |

                                                            REST IN PEACE BABA.

The Villainous Post.

OMIGOD, it’s here. May, the Holy month of Semester Exams, has arrived. This month, I bet, is named as ‘May’ because students are always discombobulated and agitated by chanting ‘I may pass, I may fail’.
According to my sources, impeccable as always, a survey conducted in India reported that the word, ‘May’, was taken exactly 18,743,902 billion times (Goats were not included in this survey). Had they been included, this figure would have crossed the amount of money our Honourable C.M Miss Mayawati has.
And leave that, have you guys heard songs of Ravan. Yo! In the name of Ravan, this time Rahman has stolen our hearts. He is the man.
Anyway, that was on a funny note.
Let me jump to today’s topic. While reading yesterday’s Newspaper, my eyes were stuck on a heading, ‘Dada Saheb Phalke award to the veteran actor Pran’. Pran was one of the best villains our Industry ever had. This compelled me to ponder and later, I triggered a debate, are we really losing our stereotype villains. By this I would like you all to conceive some scenes of ‘Koyla’, where you were get really annoyed by the atrocities of Amrish Puri. Not only ‘Koyla’, any film in which he played a grey shade character, you will feel like beating him black and blue, if you ever encountered him, anywhere. This is what the charisma of a villain is, rather was. The feeling of ill will arousing active hostility is what is needed to come if you see a villain of Hindi cinema. No doubt, Pran was really a reprobate on screen. And so were others. Sometimes, I have this strange feeling that as we have steeped in this new era of filmmaking, where we have started making high budget action movies, sci-fi, romantic, comedy, any genre, that personnel magnetism of a villain has been lost. Now, we don’t have Gabbar Singh, but we do have Mr.A. Characters like Mugaambo, Dr.Dan and so are in imminent danger of extinction.
I want to see that era back where villains were beaten to the pulp by the hero, where a satyr villain use to rape the sister of hero and then hero retaliates by killing him. No matter how develop we may become, these things always remind us of the movies which we used to watch while growing up.
And after all this villain talks, non sense I’d rather say, my roommate has promised me to cast me as one of a stereotype villain, if he ever made a movie *Sigh*.
So, again time for signing out. You are always welcome to comment and be my follower. Mugaambo khush hoga.
Please overlook my mistakes as no one is infallible. 
Love.

Laugh, Slaying and Dokha!

Hey friends, what’s up on your part? All fine here. This month is full of excitement. Our last internal is going on and then the semester is on its way but what keep us charged is the Counter Strike extravaganza.
Yes, that is the only addiction I might be having (Where I mean I and friends). Be it a Friday night or any holiday eve, C.S. Session has to be there. We don’t give a damn to the leagues like I.P.L but when it comes to counter strike, it’s like our religion. Saying all this doesn’t mean that I am a mavin of counter strike. Sigh. I wish I were.
Last session started with a bet between the counter terrorist and the terrorist. The bet, I bet, pumps out the adrenaline out of your body. I was of the counter terrorist (as always) with two more friends of mine ( Apoorv and Aditya). In the opponent there were two friends and a bot as terrorist (Pawan and Pranay). So it started. Started with vows of blowing and chopping heads, killing or I shall say assassinating brutally, mercilessly, pathetically, and scornfully and it happened.
The bet was of fifty set of games and terrorist were leading always. It way around thirty five games when we outclassed them, it was our forty-ninth game when victory was a step away. There was nothing but the sounds of shotguns, mavericks, snipers and as our senses confirmed that what they heard was ‘counter terrorist win’, we were on cloud nine. Winning the bet and shouting and honking and somersaulting and insulting and whatsoever we could think of. That victory had a major role of Apoorv. He was the top scorer.
But this was not the end. There was more to come and it came. We challenged them for another set of game and they accepted it. There is an old saying that never under estimate the opponent and we never did. We all started again and with the same team. We three and they were two and one bot. Bot was supposed to be of hard level. As the game started it was the bot versus us. He alone was efficient to kill all three of us but we did not lose hope and it fought back. There was blood, marks, laugh, slaying and dokha. Score was on level at every moment. As we entered in the league of forty our hands were quivering, concentration was distracting and we were moving towards target with equal scores. It was the forty-eight game when the score were level. Approx hundred rupees were at stake. Apoorv and Aditya took the charge on shotgun and sniper respectively and I was with maverick, things went in our favour and we won that and now the score was forty-nine to forty-eight. They again bounced back and levelled the score. Last game, spirits high, hands shivering, money at stake and Apoorv was at his best. Game started, we relying on Apoorv and suddenly there was a sound of bullet and it showed Apoorv is dead. This reminded me the World cup Final of 2003 when Sachin got out when we needed him the most (Motherfucker Mcgrath). Ahh. Anyway Aditya was the next one to get slaughtered after killing one and it was I versus two. Two were together, one last attempt, one of them dead and other made the system say ‘Terrorist win’.
It was all silent for us. I couldn’t hear what they retaliated verbally or by actions, it was all but sad. The suspense unfolded when we disconnected the game and found that the bot was of expert level instead of hard. A technical fault led us cost another defeat. Never mind, this is life. You win and you lose and it continues. Apart of winning and losing, we had great fun and that is what you carve for and care for at the end of the day.
So, guys this is it. Time for signing off and see you all later.
Do comment and let me know how it was.
It was Kunal Lakhwani with touch corby and yellow back, who inspired me to write this. So if you people did not like this, go bang his head.
Condone my mistakes.
Love.

Similar Poles Repel.....Really?

Howdy paisanos! Rocking, eh? Here I am.
Whew and what a month this was .Excessively tiring. Ahh.. I Need rest to overcome my somatic and mental weariness. These cycles(internals) have wrenched my juice. I certainly need some vagabonding sessions, a B’day treat(Sur, listening?) and a few Counter-Strike hardcore games (Chavanni style). Well there, blogging almost after a month. Just wanna tell you all that I have discovered some theories. I would like to share them with you. I have a thought of having an argumentation here at My Better Half.
This one simply popped up when I studied the law of magnetism that 'Similar poles repel each other'. There might be nothing wrong in this law but what I wonder is this law is totally opposite in real life, isn't it. Ummm...let me explain.
You all must be having some good friends. I too have and the only reason that they are my friends is because we share some common habits, common taste and most important we have got a matching mentality. Although if not exactly the same but to the some extent, yes.(Besides, there is one more obvious reason that they are rich enough to spend on me.) A simple mind can deduce that they are nor opposite in nature but yet we are good friends.
Anyway, this was in case of friendship. Let us take 'Love' for instance. After being three years in a metropolitan city and also in SRM, I have seen umpteen cases and forms of relationships. Some goes successfully and some just .....But there are various reason of collapsing in a relationship and one of those is being opposite in taste. These days courtship time has increased considerably and so is Live-in relationships. The purpose is just one. To make sure she/he has same Ideologies and nature. If this factor is missing in a relationship, chance of breaking and erupting increases.
The other side of the discussion is yes, we do have some examples of opposite nature mates having a successful relation but they are mere exception. It has to be there since exceptions are everywhere.
After doing much contemplating on this, I have reached to a conclusion that this law may only suffice in physics. In real life.....Similar Poles Attracts.
If you have any other counter on this, please let me know. We shall have a BD(Blogger's Discussion)
Please condone my slips. See you all again.
Love.

Breaking The Habit.

Hello all. How are you folks? I am doing great. Hope you people are also rocking the stage at your best.
I apologise for my absence. I should have posted something but nevertheless quality is always better than quantity. I also beg your pardon for my typo i.e. an extra apostrophe in 'YOURS'. That shouldn't been there.
After some deep introspecting session I realised that I have perverted from the path for which I started blogging. May be I haven't but now I have decided to be more concentrated and precise. God bless me.
You must be wondering why I have placed the snap of that mouth watering cake on top. Did you all notice that it read "Happy Birthday Mr. Critic"; apparently that is I. We went to a treat cum feast at Dhaba Express were this surprise was presented. Thanks to all my friends. They completely acknowledge me for my quality but this compelled me to think and ponder over this habit.
 This indirectly addressed to the part of cynical and akin misanthropic nature prevailing somewhere in my veins which is shaping a personality who is always eager to find flaws and mistakes. I know it happens that whenever I go through something, my eyes are in search of mistakes. Once they give a clean chit that yes this article or whatever is flawless I actually go through what it is all about. The biggest Irony is I want to be perfect and inerrable, very well knowing that perfection is out of our reach and no one could be infallible.
Although, I'm very peculiar about miniscule details and trivial info but have experienced that this world does not acknowledges you for that and words such as psycho and mental are coined after you. Anyways few things are incorrigible and I hope this one do not occupy a slot in that list.
Another disastrous habit is of cunctation which is nothing but putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time. I am suffering from a disease in which cunctation has jammed my blood veins and sabotaging my mental control and self will. Oh God, it has no cure other than your will which is getting debased as an aftermath of this chronic disease. In lieu of Holi and Holika Dahan, I would like to throw all this crap element and ideologies in the fire of Holika. Today I’m breaking these habits and yes, Happy Holi dear friends.
Right now in a mood to listen a Bengali number, title as 'Kande sudhu mon'.
Time for signing off. Have fun. Try thinking about your drawbacks and amend them also don't forget to listen to this song, Ah. It's lovely and pure. 
Right now in a mood to listen a Bengali number, title as 'Kande sudhu mon'.
 Hmmm *Jokhon shonali rupoli alo nodir buke basha khoje re* Hmmm.

YOURS TRULY
VINAYAK SETH

When love sizzles in air.

Hell yeah!! It's Valentine Day again and ones again I am pining for a partner. So are you all having someone to have romance on this special eve or few of you are lurking in the corners of roads in search of a valentine, eh?
Nevertheless, a Happy Valentine's Day for all my readers. Well love is isn't that complicated as we all thing. It's actually more complicated than that. 
On a trivial note did you all know why we celebrate this day? The answer for the question is because on this very day Saint Valentine sacrificed his life in the memory of his lover.
Gone those days when man had enough time to spare on his lass and hence this day is celebrated with dedication and zeal and that's it no more preaching today as I have got exams tomorrow.
Go out and have fun . Spread unconditional love. Be it your girl, your folks or your parents but remember love and humanity goes hands in hands so don't forget  it too.
I'll be signing off now. Catch you soon after my exams.
TRULY YOURS'
VINAYAK SETH

Threat on his Kingship??

Hello all.. as I said I'll be back and here I am. I have been fine. How are you guys? I hope my post finds you in best of your health.So coming to today's topic of the post. Yeah..you might have guessed it. It's about the Khan of Bollywood. Perhaps I should say the King of bollywood who is facing the threat. The peril of losing his kingship. The threat of losing his stardom .

 From past couple of weeks you all might be reading the news of menacing the release of the most awaited film of the year MY NAME IS KHAN. Although the parties who are opposing it are a   group of sickos who are headed by morally reprehensible demagogues who have got nothing better to do other than spewing venom through their serpentine tongue.

As of a film MNIK has got a very special role to play in the career of Shah Rukh Khan. For an instance let us forget all the drama which is being played out there in Mumbai and take a glimpse of SRK's career graph from past few years. Let us have a view of his recent films.

1)Kuch meetha ho jaaye. 2)Kaal. 3)Silsiilay. 4)The inner and outer world of SRK. 5)Kabhi alwida na kehna. 6)Don. 7)I see you. 8) Chak de India. 9)Hey baby. 10)Om shanti om. 11)Krazzy 4. 12)Bhoothnath. 13) Rab ne bana di Jodi. 14)Luck by chance.15)Billu. 16)Aao wish karein. 17)Dulha mil gaya.

From 2005 and till date 11-02-10 he has given only 2 hit films and two average entertainers. These are Chak de India and Rab ne bana di jodi. Other than this Om shanti om and Don received a mediocre response. I still remember the day when OSO was released with Sawariya on the eve of Deepawali. Had it not been Sawariya, the fate of OSO would have been hapless. RNBDJ did well but was crushed by the massive success of Ghajini. Now if you'll have an overview you'll find that the BHADSHAH needs a ginormous hit so that he can compete the race with other two Khans - Aamir and Salman. Aamir khan has been crowned as Mr. Blockbuster because of his recent outstanding hits where as Salman made a comeback with year's second largest hit - Wanted.

Just to remind that this world still obeys the rule of Survival of the fittest. Shahrukh's television soaps also didn't go well and Kya aap panchvi pass se tez hai was closed due to poor TRP. His Team KKR went flat faced in the IPL2 and a simple mind can deduce that things are not going well for Shahrukh. But anticipations never die. MNIK has to be a huge hit if SRK wants his stardom to remain immune but if it didn't turn out well on Box- Office then his kingship will be ephemeral and as I fear the other khans, Roshan, kapoor and kumar  will lead to a battle to occupy the slot. Slot of the BHADSHAH.

So let us see what the destiny has in its closed hands, let the secret come out from the pocket of time and let us wish Karan Johar and his team all the luck.

And now guys time for signing off. Do tell me your response and I shall ameliorate my skills. Please over look my typos and grammar blunders. BRB.

YOURS' TRULY

VINAYAK SETH